Empoweredtosucceed's Blog

Pocket Charm Discovery

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: September 12, 2010

This morning I discovered this gem (listed as a pocket charm that should be carried in pocket or placed on shelf).  I love it and I hope you love it too.

Life Is a Journey Pocket Charm by Ganz

Each day is a journey

We take one step at a time

With friends to support us

On each challenge as we climb

Whatever direction we go

And no matter what comes our way

May our journey through life

Bring us happiness each day

Thanks to Ganz for these wonderful words that inspired me today.  I hope you are inspired and empowered today.

Have a great day everyone!

An Artist Hike

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: September 2, 2010

Setting out to unleash my inner artist, I recently traveled to Weir Farm, a national historic site located in Wilton, CT.  Weir Farm - Historic National SiteCurious about what I would find and anxious to unlock my what I can now label semi-blocked creativity (5 weeks into Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way), I arrived at Weir Farm mid afternoon.  The place was densely attended with a few families bringing their children to the farm.  I silently applauded their parenting skills and made a mental note that this is something I would do when I had children.  Stopping at the visitors center, I was given a map and advised that painting materials awaited me free of charge.  What a great benefit!  Ever the multi-tasker, I added the canvas bag with art supplies to my already ladened hands.  My friend Mo would get a kick out of the fact that I had a large purse, a laptop bag, and now art supplies.  As I said, fully ladened without an inkling that this was not the right idea for my artist date. 

As I headed for the trail, I came across a sign cautioning unsuspecting victims (ok, a bit harsh but there nonetheless as a disclaimer for the willing artist) that coyotes were on the property. 

Coyote Sign

It worked.  I hightailed it back towards the main building and visitor’s center.  However, I heard a voice say “fear wins”.  Certainly the magic words that caused me to turn around and face my fear of the coyotes (who I hoped were sleeping) and head back to the trail to the Weir Pond.  I envisioned a majestic spot for painting, writing, and blogging as I trudged along.  Well actually, there was also a man with his 2 younger boys ahead of me.  I figured if they could bravely walk into the trail with no fear, then I was in good company.  He did ask me if I had seen the sign about the coyotes.  Yes, I hardly think one could miss it.  However, he made me feel better by saying that the coyotes usually come out after dark.  This meant I had some time to tap into the inner artist.  I couldn’t wait to see what she came up with as her debut piece.  Trailing behind the hikers who seemed more prepared than I with water and hiking sticks, I finally made it to the pond.  My expectations were a bit misguided in that I imagined a perfect spot for me and my materials.  Perhaps I gave myself extra credit for thoroughly embracing nature.   Continuing the journey as signs denoted the path to the waterfall dam, I encountered yet another sign advising of the aggressive coyotes that caused a portion of the trail to be closed off.  Always one to heed directions, I decided I had seen enough of the trail for today.  Certainly painting opportunities awaited me in the vicinity of the visitor’s center.  Getting back was another story.  Did I mention that I have a navigation system built into my car and such would be a good idea for trails that are unfamiliar to you.  Needless to say I lost my way in the trail and found myself with the option of cutting through backyards with signs advising of invisible fences.   What started as an artist date ended up being the artist hike.  Technology came to my rescue and I was able to locate and call the farm and gauge the distance back to the farm.  It was certainly nice to know that the ranger was willing to come and rescue me.  This was a good reference for future adventures.  Turns out I was a short distance from the farm and as I neared the farm, I decided that a return visit was in order to try my hand at painting.  For now, I was satisfied with the artist hike with a green tea frappacino looming as a reward.

My immediate lessons were:

  • Things don’t always turn out the way you expect.  The phrase that comes to mind is “When you get lemons, make lemonade.”
  • Fear is a constant battle so take steps one at a time at conquering your fears.
  • Have faith that you have all the tools you need to come to your own rescue.
  • As much as we’re programmed to believe multi-tasking is the be all end all, it isn’t always necessary.  It’s ok to slow down and do one thing (like painting)
  • Obstacles always come up when you’re on a mission.
  • The inner artist is still there and waiting for the next opportunity for her debut painting.

Until then . . .

No Reading – Say What?

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: August 30, 2010

Stuck in a middle seat amidst commuters, I pondered my current situation.  The prognosis is grim as I’m on day 4 of the Artist Way task and not achieving what seemed like an easy enough task.  You see Julia Cameron advises, in her book the “Artist Way”, that reading deprivation is a method used to unblock creativity.   Below is a photo of me and Julia Cameron at the Artist Way class held at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck New York in July.

Julia Cameron (author) and I

Each day has been a struggle because I’ve beat myself up each time I catch myself reading.  That hardly seems right.  I’m reminded of the phrase “reading is fundamental” which is what I’ve been taught and so to break that habit has been a ridiculous task.  Even on the train, I find myself reading the headlines in the New York Post of the person sitting next to me.  I know shameful.  Surely, I don’t care about the fact that Marlon Wayans and Wilmer Valderrama are in a bromance but it catches my eye and by reflex, I read the headline.  I do not know how much longer I can take of this deprivation.  I’m likening it to a diet that’s not working.  I cannot imagine my life without reading.  I surely would be missing a lot.  My goal at the mid-point is to accomplish one full day without reading.  I’m really keen to tap into the benefit.  At least I’m writing more.  What do you think?  Could you do it? Deprive yourself of reading for one week.  What would you do with your time without reading?  My job calls for reading emails and other paraphernalia.  I feel like I’d need a weekend to try this out.  I would have to cut myself off my laptop because I would find myself on Twitter or Facebook reading status updates.  Or, worse I would find myself at people.com or another gossip site reading about celebrities.  Perhaps I can just go to the beach and reflect on life and enjoying my own thoughts without influence of the materials that I read.  I think that’s the idea behind the Artist Way task. 

At this point, my lessons are: 

  1. Everything is not for everybody but be open to experiences that offer you insights into your likes and dislikes.
  2. I enjoy reading, even if I take it for granted.  It’s so engrained into my day that I don’t count it as reading.  I’ll find myself saying I need to read more when the truth of the matter is that I read quite a lot.  Just last year, I had a goal of reading one book per month.  Imagine that!  I was reading all along.
  3. Perhaps the key point was not to let reading take over my life where I can’t think about my own ideas.  Interesting!  I think that about soap operas.  I was so impressed for years and I finally had to wean myself off.  Sure I miss Sonny Corinthos but truly if I were honest, I would have realized sooner that Sonny was only an escape from my own life.

Needless to say, the rest of the week proved to be taxing.  I was tempted like a dessert tray with opportunities to read at every turn.  This is one task that I’ll have to revisit and I’m grabbing my book as I write to see if I misunderstood the task and missed some insight that would have made the process easier.  I’d love to hear from you Artist Way alumni about how you progressed with your reading deprivation.  For now, I’m ready to move to week 5 to see what Julia has in store for me. 

A Much Needed Artist Walk

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: August 16, 2010

This morning, I got up feeling empowered to get my morning pages completed and an artist walk in before getting to work.  It felt like an essential to-do that I could not miss in order to set my day up for success.  At present, I’ve embarked on completing the Artist Way.  For those of you not familiar with it, it’s a 12-week program designed to unblock creativity.  This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while and frankly have not made it a priority.  However, after deciding that my creativity is indeed blocked (yes, I said it), I decided to take the Artist Way course directly from the author Julia Cameron at Omega in Rhinebeck, New York.  It was something that I was looking forward to for a long time.  Similar to how I was looking forward to seeing the movie Eat, Pray, Love this weekend. Anyway, I digress as that’s another story in itself. 

According to Julia herself and her book, there are 3 basic tools to unlocking your creativity.  Those tools are 1) 3 pages of morning pages each day as soon as you wake up; 2) an artist walk – 20 minutes; and 3) an artist date – a creativity date with yourself (solo).

On a mission to become reacquainted with my creative self, I’ve been on par with morning pages and wanted to up my game with the artist walk.  All weekend long I wanted to take a walk but my body had other plans as I fought off a cold that found me in bed for most of Saturday.  Sunday was no better as I got dressed but simply could not make it out either.  But this morning, I awoke with renewed vigor as I feverishly wrote my morning pages and geared up for the artist walk.  I was blessed to have missed the morning rain as I took to the streets of Norwalk for a walk.  I was comfortable and feeling good about myself until I passed a window and got a peek of myself.  What was I wearing? Oh geez, it wasn’t great.  My Quinnipiac sweatshirt, my favorite grey sweats, a visor and my hair in pin curls.  Clearly my walk was more important that getting dolled up for the walk although I have encountered a few folks who’ve commented on seeing me walking around Norwalk.  Oh well, as time progresses a more attractive me will emerge while walking.  For the moment, I’m working on a more attractive me on the inside so that’s what’s important. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my walk.  Julia says that you shouldn’t bring a cell phone, a recorder, or a note pad.  Just bring yourself and enjoy the beauty of nature with your thoughts.  You will remember what you need to remember from the walk.  It reminded me of the time when I was on sabbatical and I would go for 2 hour walks in amazement of the things that I was missing as I moved at a rapid pace through life.  The walk slows you down to notice.  So today, my wish for you is to treat yourself to an artist walk with yourself.  You will be amazed at how light you feel afterwards and perhaps more prepared for the rat race of a day that awaits you.  Happy Monday All.

~Simone

Inspiring Change

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: February 11, 2010

On Sunday, I visited Grace Baptist Church and was pleasantly surprised as a 13-year-old boy took the podium and eloquently delivered Barack Obama’s inaugural speech.   The speech was a special treat in honor of Black History Month which celebrates  the significant contributions of African-Americans for the entire month of February.  I was inspired by this remarkable young man who  demonstrated intense passion and fierce courage.  Truly, he had no issues with public speaking and delivered the speech as if he was the reigning Toastmasters Champion or even a young  Barack Obama.  As I gazed over at his parents, I could see them beaming with  pride and they were clearly as mesmerized as the rest of the audience.

It was just a little over a year ago when I took the journey to Washington to witness the inauguration.  It was a bold decision in which action triumphed hesitancy and excuses about unbearable temperatures fell on deaf ears.  It is a good reminder that as decision makers of our lives, we have the power to silence the gremlin and move forward with our hearts desire.  Below are some photos of my memories that I’d like to share with you.  In addition, I’ve bolded parts of the speech that caused my empowerment meter to rise.   Stay empowered my friends and as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

My message for hope

Below is an excerpt of the speech.  May it inspire and empower you to embrace the change you so desire.

My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.

I thank President Bush for his service to our nation as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.

 The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

 So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age.

Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

 These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land; a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this America: They will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

 On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less.

 It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame.

Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor — who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

 For us, they fought and died in places Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed.

 Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done.

The state of our economy calls for action: bold and swift. And we will act not only to create new jobs but to lay a new foundation for growth.

We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together.

We will restore science to its rightful place and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its costs.

 We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age.

All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply.

 The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified.

Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end.

And those of us who manage the public’s knowledge will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched.

 But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.

The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.

Our founding fathers faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations.

 Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake.

And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions.

 They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause; the force of our example; the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy, guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We’ll begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard- earned peace in Afghanistan.

 With old friends and former foes, we’ll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet.

We will not apologize for our way of life nor will we waver in its defense.

And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that, “Our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.”

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness.

We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth.

And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

 To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict or blame their society’s ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.

To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

 To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds.

And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service: a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves.

 And yet, at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies.

It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break; the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours.

It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new, the instruments with which we meet them may be new, but those values upon which our success depends, honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old.

 These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history.

What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

 This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall. And why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled.

In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by nine campfires on the shores of an icy river.

 The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood.

At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it.”

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you.

And God bless the United States of America.

1990 Wisdom

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: January 16, 2010

Back in 1990 when I graduated from Quinnipiac College, I was ready to take on the world with my degree in hand.  This year marks the 20th year since graduation.  As I reflect on how I’ve grown over the years, I realize that my passion around empowerment was present back in the 90′s.  At that time, I lacked the confidence and wherewithal to tap into it.  In cleaning my office this morning, I came across my Q.C. yearbook.  I smiled as I visited old friends and wondered what had unfolded for them on their journey.  There were lots of smiles as I reflected on my transformation to independence at Quinnipiac.  My voice back in 1990 left these words in print. 

Never stop dreaming.  Whenever you reach a goal, make a new one so that life will always be a challenge.

Wow!  I still believe that!  In fact, next weekend will find me at a goal setting retreat with my Women’s Empowerment Network sisters.  It is amazing how I look and feel different from graduation but at the core, my beliefs remain strong.  

What was your message when you graduated?  I’d love to hear it.

Stay Empowered!

Am I worth an 18-hour day’s work?

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: January 15, 2010

Yesterday found me on a mission to achieve the seemingly unachievable.  Faced with a task that seemed impossible, I found the strength and energy to persevere.  Where did it come from I wondered and why was I so determined or as Barack Obama recently said, “resolute”?  I had a project to deliver that I knew I was being counted on to deliver within the constraints provided.  After a grueling 18 hour day, success was granted.  Today as I reflect on the experience, I realize a few lessons that I would like to share with you on your journey to success.

1)      You must possess an unwavering commitment to yourself and to the goals you deem important.  Will you dare accept an 18 hour standoff against your obstacles?   Can anyone relate?  I can.  Right now, I’m thinking about a book project that’s in progress that warrants my focus for completion.  The approach I’ve undertaken is to allow several hours of writing each day.  I believe in the power of structures like calendars.  However, I’ve allowed my saboteur to convince me that I can continue to put it off until the next day in service of other priorities.  Perhaps I need to be fired as the manager of my life? Why is this behavior acceptable? Can you relate? I could likely write an entire book draft in 18 hours.  What could you do in 18 hours if you persevered despite the obstacles?

2)      Consistently raise the bar on yourself and others on your winning team.  A high performing team is not waylaid by obstacles.  They rise to the occasion and come up with solutions built on out of the box thinking.  One wacky idea spurs another.  When “the rubber meets the road”, there is no option but to put fear aside and embrace a possibility that you hadn’t considered.  As I reflected on a speech I gave to a team member about focusing on solutions, I challenged myself to embrace ideas that seem wacky but turn out to be the best solutions.  Food for thought!

3)      Believe the impossible!  When the goal seems impossible, believe anyway and continue plugging away.  I shared an analogy with a colleague recently.  I told him I felt like I had made a $5 bet when I was comfortable with the penny, nickel, or quarter slot machine.  Imagine that!  Your insides don’t feel very good when you make bets like that.  Prayer becomes a savior to rescuing you from what you deem dire consequences for foolishness.   Theodore Roosevelt said “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

4)      There’s more energy where that came from!  After working so hard, we rest and refuel and continue the journey.  It’s like driving a long distance.  I remember being exhausted after driving to Atlanta several years ago.  However, upon reaching Atlanta, I rested and refueled and had to continue on the journey to make the trip back home.  We have a lot more energy than our saboteur says.  Reach deep and embrace that energy that’s an opportunity for greater things.

5)      Every experience creates an opportunity for deeper learning.  My lessons from delivering a project are applicable to how I deliver in my own life.  Today, I claim my role as Project Manager of my life.  A role that I take seriously and one that I am willing to get into my Survivor gear for.  I leave you with the words to the chorus to the Destiny’s Child Song, “Survivor”

I’m a survivor (what),

I’m not gonna give up (what),

I’m not gon’ stop (what),

I’m gonna work harder (what),

I’m a survivor (what),

I’m gonna make it (what),

I will survive (what),

Keep on survivin’ (what),

I’m a survivor (what),

I’m not gonna give up (what),

I’m not gon’ stop (what),

I’m gonna work harder (what),

I’m a survivor (what),

I’m gonna make it (what),

I will survive (what),

Keep on survivin’ (what),

 

It’s Personal or Is It?

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: September 24, 2009

A client recently asked me what it was like not to take things personally.  The topic is an interesting one as we all have some encounter that leaves us feeling wounded and like someone’s attacking our personal character.  According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements”, you take things personally because you agree with whatever was said.  He goes on to share that when one feels offended, the reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. 

So true Don and I know firsthand as today I found myself in quite a similar scenario.  My gremlin had an opportunity to disprove my client’s theory that I didn’t take things personally.  A phone conversation catapulted me into a negative place of taking things personally and leaving me rather agitated.  I felt attacked and admittedly it didn’t feel very good.  Sadly, my gremlin got the upper hand in this instance.  As I reflect back on the interaction, I realize that beating myself up does not change the past.  Instead, I take these lessons forward.

  • Forgive yourself. You are human and entitled to make mistakes.  Most of our learning comes from making mistakes.
  • If your phone has the capability, put yourself on mute and force yourself to just listen without response.  Take a few deep breaths and then take yourself off mute to get curious about the other person’s perspective.  This technique will likely diffuse the situation.
  • Empower yourself by tapping into available resources.  Pull out Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements” and read the chapter on the Second Agreement, “Don’t Take Anything Personally”.
  • Write an affirmation to combat the feelings brought on by this situation.  Use what you know to be true to feed into the affirmation. 
  • Reach out to a friend to lift your spirits.  Friends are vitamins for difficult situations.

Have you taken an incident personally?  If so, what was your lesson and what tips can you contribute to build the muscle of not taking things personally?

Stay empowered!

The Empowerment Dance Begins . . .

Posted by: empoweredtosucceed on: September 17, 2009

Welcome to the first posting of the Empowered to Succeed Blog.  My name is Simone Morris and I will be your host for this journey.  Those who know me know that I’ve been on an empowerment journey for some time now.  For my new friends, I hope you’ll spend some time getting to know me through regular visits. 

My empowerment journey has led me to increased reading of self help materials and a substantial investment in education around bettering myself.  My goal is to be a better human being.  Perhaps you can relate to the need to make a mark on the world by creating the life you desire for yourself and desperately wanting to share that knowledge with others so they too can create the life they desire.  I invite you to join me on my quest to feed my insatiable thirst for knowledge.  I’m sure we’ll both learn something along the way.  In case anyone is wondering what I mean by empowered, the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines empowered as “to enable or permit”.  So, what exactly is one enabling or permitting?  In my mind dancing with empowerment allows one the freedom or permission to be the human being they were created to be.  It also means moving forward despite the fear and having the courage to up the ante on your dreams.  So, who wants to dance?

A vision of the Empowerment Dance

A vision of the Empowerment Dance

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